Anxiety?

I tried my best not to acknowledge any ill feelings on my thoughts; but, it is true at some point in life you will realize it has been that long time since you have been holding it in. I Β never wanted to call it depression nor anxiety because I did not want to be branded/labelled as someone who feels like my problems in life are just made up in order for me to belong to what is currently and highly talked about societal concerns.

I never wanted to be branded as “sabay sa uso” or so “joining the bandwagon.” It’s never my choice to feel like this, it was never my point in life to have such feeling. I thought I was just overthinking or I was just overreacting but I did not even notice that I was actually having some severe anxiety/panic attack.

These mental states are actually factors that could greatly affect my mental well-being. I thought I just have some wild messy thoughts. I thought I was just overacting. I was wrong.

Thinking about the past, I have always struggled in life. I never thought it was that serious, it was never an issue; I try to deal with it personally. I thought it was supposed to help me grow up, mature and learn; apparently, those things are actually factors of how I manage and think nowadays.

I have this strong and brave facade but nobody knows what I truly feel. Nobody knows how painful and how much I am struggling inside. Nobody knows how much pain I go through. I guess I was not clinical diagnose therefore I should not act this way nor I should have the right to claim these things I am experiencing is even close to depression or some sort of mental issue.

BAKA KASI OA KA LANG. IT’S ALL IN THE MIND NGA DAW DIBA. SO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT LANG. DO NOT OVERTHINK LANG.

WHAT CAN I DO? What if I am not like you?

What if I cannot stop overthinking nor I cannot control what goes on my mind. How can I manage this?

THESE ARE LEGIT ANXIETIES. And no matter how much I try to fight it, it’s just there…

I am really not sure how to deal with it. Before, I try to brush it off, cry about it, worry about it for days and ruin my days as always. Should I continue just doing it as is?

Should I ignore it and let it be like I used to? As long as it does not bother me on a daily basis? Even though it does and of course I deny it, I try to ignore it but the truth is I could not.

HELP. This is not fun.

And when you try to open up on things you will be branded as overacting – “nag-iinarte”

It’s bad for you, so stop. Like I could stop it? Like I could fully control it, I wish I could. Because if I could, there will be no writings like this.

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Paper Earrings

Origami Earrings by Jonathan Knowles

Workshop 9: Jewelry Workshop

The easiest outfit we wore for workshop! Yey! Dress up with your simplest outfit. I went with my shirt and shorts on πŸ™‚ HAHAHA

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The regular and simple me!

Anyway, the lecture was pretty long but it was truly informative from history up to the details of each materials needed to make jewelry. It was comprehensive and very insightful. For the workshop, we had some little twist and challenge!

I find it really fun and amazing when we were placed in Divisoria like situation, we were given a budget of 100 chausse (the currency they used) plus variety of choices. The challenge is really enjoyable and also pretty unique! So off now with our workshop! Well, since there are only few minutes left for the workshop, we were not able to finish our works on time so we took it home. I used mostly pearl materials πŸ™‚ However, in the process of making my necklace broke down and the typical problem pearls and beads go crazy. Anyway, I had to repeat the whole thing again.

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The key here is you need to plan out your needed materials, you need to have an idea of what you will design so that when you work it is continuous. It is also helpful that you have a set of the materials arranged properly in an organizing container so that when you work you are efficient!

And now, here’s my final product!

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Happy with it! ❀

Workshop 8: Wire Works

Today is the day we dress up as our favorite celebrity! Who would have thought I would be that problematic for this dress up day! My goodness! I was so sure to dress up as Kate Middleton, I mean the Duchess of Cambridge Catherine when Thea/Avi tweeted and texted me, that we will be ONE DIRECTION! HAHAHAΒ 

Yes, the girl version of 1D! πŸ˜€ Just awesome. Now change outfit. Anyway, the workshop is all about wire works! Pretty hard for girls like us, wires are typically for men if you will use it for hardware and stuff but it could also be used in accessory making. It is one of the vital materials needed in completing an accessory.

It was pretty complicated technique and very challenging. In doing this, you must have complete set of tools like pliers and also a pair of working gloves to prevent your hands to be hurt. A lesson learned from me since I did not bring any protective gloves.

The lecture was quick and brief but very helpful to give us background. The workshop part was pretty difficult, the twisting and shaping of the wire was a huge challenge but were kinda good for beginners! πŸ˜€ So, here’s my product!

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Since, we were asked to shape wire with letters at least 3 letters, I chose ZAYN! My love πŸ™‚

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ZAYN ❀

And here we are doing our song number (?) HAHAHA

Origami Shoes

A folded shoes designed by Catherine Meute.

Beads

Β The most common material used for accessory making. It is easily available in the market and also you can make one with different materials πŸ™‚ Beads come in many varieties which makes it really good for making accessories! Go on check out what I found out πŸ™‚

Beaded Shoes DIY

This is amazing! She used seed beads! It’s only millimeters in size!

And the typical beaded necklaces πŸ™‚

Extreme beaded bag! πŸ™‚

Maje Jelica Beaded Bag

Having so many products that we can do with the use of beads, our creativity and also being innovative is really put to test. But I believe we can still make MORE accessories out of it!

DISCLAIMER I do not own the photos! You can click the photo to view the link πŸ™‚

Glass-classy!

Glass is one of the most unique materials that one could use in making accessories. Using this material is pretty challenging and also very innovative. Manipulating glass is quite hard but the end product will surely look great! Check out what I found out online πŸ™‚

Ying Gao creation in collaboration with Michèle Lapointe. Awesome right?

clutch bag by Hermes Burkins

And who would have thought Cinderella’s glass shoes do exists? Check this out!

Glass Shoes

Martin Margiela glass shoes

And now for the pendants.

It is amazing how designers were able to use this material in creating such designs. But I believe we can still develop it πŸ™‚

DISCLAIMER I do not own the photos! Please click the image to display link to the page. πŸ™‚

Workshop 7: Clay Works

For this workshop, we are dressed as tourists πŸ™‚ I chose to dress up as typical girl going on a little tour with my scarf and shades on! Anyway, the group were pretty creative with the lecture part making it more like a museum tour which is really fun plus there’s free snacks! πŸ™‚ Yes that’s the best part! Anyway, clay works is one just amazing workshop to do! We get to design and play at the same time with our polymer clays.

For this workshop, we did not use regular clays that kids use for playing, we used a polymer clay. This type of clay can be bought from specialty stores.

The raw clay should like this, it is quite similar with the regular ones but you must buy the legit polymer clay to achieve what you want to achieve πŸ™‚

The whole workshop was totally enjoying! We just molded and created designs out of clays. It was fun! And I am quite proud of my end product! Here,

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I made a pendant for a necklace! Since I am kind of nature lover, I chose to design and mold a flower from the clay. It was pretty easy!

And also, I made a second one. But something bad happened to it… Image

Sadly, it broke when i put it inside the bag. Well that’s the challenge when using polymer clay, you have to make sure that the clay is not to hard and brittle so that your product will last long. It was sad losing one accessory but I at least I enjoyed the workshop! πŸ™‚ It was fun!!

Btw, here’s more pictures of what you can do with your polymer clay!

www.fanpop.com

www.blisstree.com

breatheday.deviantart.com

Let’s do some DYEING!

Dyeing is a really fun technique that can be applied to a lot of accessories. πŸ™‚ I have tried doing it and it is not really that difficult! Come on and check out what I have found out πŸ™‚

For this piece of accessory, the dyed material is actually the fiber or yarn. Isn’t it cool?

And now for the bags, check this out!

dip dyed bags from teddy fish


Cool right? πŸ™‚

This one is really cute! πŸ™‚

See we can still be experimental πŸ™‚

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Workshop 6: Embroidery

This is the official invitation that we got for Buena and Boo’s workshop! It was one challenging workshop! The test of our knowledge in basic hand stitching was put to test. Anyway, the lecture passed by really quick and we then proceeded with the demonstrations πŸ˜‰ They taught us several stitches like lazy daisy, cross stitch, loop stitches and more.

We were asked to create a brooch for this workshop and were given a felt fabric as our base material. It was kind of challenging because it was our first time to use that type of fabric! I planned on using only a few colors for the fabric and the thread to make it look harmonious πŸ™‚ The stitching part was not really difficult you just need to really observe and listen on the steps that you need to follow to make the brooch! And I am proud to present my very own brooch πŸ™‚

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It is not as perfect as I planned it but I do love it πŸ™‚

And here’s my creative shot wearing this awesome brooch!

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We have to make the funniest pose we could ever think and they all told me to pose like the one that I made in my Talent’s Portion in Mr. & Ms. CHE. IT WAS FUN!